I don't have any bestfriends. No. u don't have to pity me or anything. It was a decision i made a long time ago. When my mom made clear to me that a 'friend's definition is one who pays social visits. I could say that i tend to keep people at an arm's length. it's better this way u know. u dun get hurt easily.betrayals between friends.....it's easier when u juz think of them simply as a friend. But then again ....this attitude might have been triggered by my 1st ever friend who kind of turned on me when we were younger.
Life is full of irony.This friend which i juz mentioned was the only one to wish me a happy birthday today.although she did do it at an ungodly hour of 1 a.m. via sms.WeLL...i believe it's the thought that counts.When it boils down to this....my own sister didnt remember. Instead of agreeing to watch 'Alexander' with me, she 'd much rather bake a cake for her 'friends'.Today i turn 18...officially.All those movies which i was banned from watching last time is now accessible. i have this complex of askin for sumtin especially when i know it's not allowed. me=bad liar.couldnt lie bout my age.and add this info to the list....i dun look my age.Nope...i dun look older.make that ....look younger! I guess my 'dear' sis juz turned a deaf ear on me when i actually offered to get the movie tickets first. She actually said: u all juz want me to get the tix for u huh? ...Sheesh....for goodness sake .....clean ur ears for once.I already said i could get em. What was i supposed to do? Print "i AM 18 today" on my forehead ?
Cousin also came when i juz decided to go back to sleep since there's nothing to look forward to. Well....u could say it wasnt that bad...at least got some company when my sis was and is still sleepin(not that when she's up she's ever willing to converse with me anyway).
Juz hope that the day becomes a lil bit more interestin...or i might just die of boredom.or maybe...hmmm....juz merely rot away?
i titled the post it's gonna be a perfect day...not becos i think it's gonna be one....but im listening to the song....which kinda gives people hope(sounds rather sad...though...hehe...dun understand a word of it!)
errmmm...and yea... gonna serve as a 'friend's lackey this afternoon . gonna show her around a makeup place for tomorrow's prom.and no...im not going. y make an effort to beautify yourself when u know u're not looking? Sometimes,that's juz the problem...does one really have to change for a friend? Im not really the 'social butterfly' i dont attract friends like bees to honey ...but i've never had the urge to get more friends.Ever since i entered form six, i've tried to become less shy...more upfront....outgoing...not so sullen(all of which mostly i appear to be). It's getting to be a rather dull routine. i juz wish this half of me would juz shut up about meeting people(networking or wateva).Is changing for the 'better' actually better for me spiritually and physically?This i have to ponder by myself.No help can be received. Hopefully i'll be able to solve this personal and inner conflict soon enuff.